Could THIS be the reason Families ‘ghost’ you?
How are you all enjoying the shorter days and longer nights?! Officially pulled out allllll the cozy clothes yet?
I for sure have, as it has become sooo cold all of a sudden, plus, team that with the soaking rain we get here in Manchester and it is not the coziest of situations at times!
As we start to wind down towards the end of 2017, it’s always interesting to see how many people begin to look at making changes in all aspects of their lives, with their job being the main key player alongside health.
As these requests come in (and this is in general, not just in January) and I start to chase references, I started to notice a very familiar problem keep cropping up, one which I’ve had personal experience of before.
Ok so, we all know how it is.
The majority of the time when we hand our notices in, everyone is sad but encouraging of you taking the next step in your career and moving on to whatever it may be.
They will give you a parting gift (most of the time) and the kids will make you super cute cards and keepsakes that will make you feel beyond guilty for leaving them.
You all promise to keep in touch and have regular Skype calls plus visit when time allows, and you are fully invested in ensuring this happens and then poufffffff. Just like that, after a few months, they seem to have disappeared.
Ok so maybe it’s a little longer than a few months, but it still happens in some cases. You send texts, birthday cards, ask for updated pictures of the children and receive nothing back.
How are you expected to use them as a reference? A family that holds great value to your experience within this field, whose children you cared for dearly for all those months/years and now what? That’s it?
So let me give an example of exactly what I’m talking about.
A family I worked for around 8 years ago, 2 children and then a 3rd one came along and I helped in every single aspect of this child’s upbringing for the first 8 months.
Parent’s were lovely, very down to earth and just nice genuine people.
That was until they decided to move to Japan, and I kept attempting to get in touch to no avail.
The emails delivered the texts sent, and I’m pretty sure my cards arrived too but I never heard a single thing from them ever again. This did not look great on my resume and reference list.
Now, of course, they were a busy young family, and hopefully, nothing bad had happened to them but it was just rather odd and sad too.
The second time was a family I’d been with for longer (3 years) and did have contact with in the first year after leaving, but then after that nothing again!
I really have no understanding of why they chose to just ‘ghost’ me. Maybe they feel awkward after a few years? Maybe they’ve just forgotten and moved on in life? Or maybe they just well and truly cannot be bothered to take the time to reply and catch up with someone that helped them and their children once upon a time.
Maybe they feel awkward after a few years? Maybe they’ve just forgotten and moved on in life? Or maybe they just well and truly cannot be bothered to take the time to reply and catch up with someone that helped them and their children once upon a time.
Very sad, right?
Sad but true and we have to move on. As much as I’ve attempted to reach out sometimes you just have to stop otherwise it gets on top of you and you start questioning your abilities and slight mess up’s that may have occurred on the job.
So, top reasons of why they could truly be ghosting you, and please feel free to email any of your own conclusions in:
- They are too busy to care about what you are now up to
- The fact you left them still haunts them and they can’t bear to see you again as it will bring back all the happy memories or how you were the ‘best they ever had’
- The good old ‘we don’t want the children to get upset/attached again’
- Memory loss occurred for the entire family so they have no recollection of who you are (jokes)
OK, but on a serious note, I’d love to hear any stories that you may have of occasions where you’ve tried your hardest to constantly keep in touch and meet up, and they just don’t seem to care or appear interested.
The best thing to just is just accept it and move on, as awful as that may seem.
Don’t hold any anger, regret or bad feelings towards them for not getting back to you. It is what it is.
I also wouldn’t let it control your choices in the future, you have the great memories and the photographs so just allow it to be.